Dear All

Thanks for all your concern and blessings.

If I said I am completely fine, it would be unrealistic. I am not sure how long I will ever take to recover from this tremendous pain of losing my son..Born as a micropreemie at 26 wks gestational age. and after fighting 6 weeks plus in NICU, he finally left....The day he left, I finally had the opportunity to hold him in my hands, finally got to see his full face for the first time since he was always covered up with plaster, tubes, etc, finally got to kiss him on his cheeks and forehead for the first time which I supposed is every mother's dream to do so right after delivering the baby..Maybe I should say it is never too late?

We spent 9 hours with him before he left us, it was the saddest time in my life. Yet we did treasure it and felt blessed that we were given more time than expected. He was our brave son, he really fought hard, and we know he did his best. I could still recall his face, trying hard to breathe. I guess Andy and I would never forget that 9 hours for the rest of our life...

He was cremated on 12th March. He wore a tiny shirt we bought him, with little birds, clouds on it...He also wore a pair of tiny shoes (still way too big for him) which I did cross stitch on them quite some time ago, hoping that he would be able to wear after he discharged one day. We also gave him a little bear to keep him accompany in heaven till we meet again...Although painful, somehow I felt relieved. I knew he was going through way too much for his tiny body. Infections, incisions, stomach operation, blood transfusions, brain abscesses, hydrocephalus, PDA....Enough of all these craps. It was time to let go.

Most people will take childbirth for granted, but by having preemies (prematured babies) in our life certainly makes us realise that, once again, what a miracle babies are...

I will continue to stay strong for my younger twin Xavier. He is having a PDA (heart) ligation surgery on Tuesday and it will be a big milestone for him after this. I hope you could continue to pray for him....

Attached is a pic of our Issac, taken on 4th Feb, before all the sickness started...